Karen Jordan (London, UK)



"It was one of those days. My husband has quite a demanding job that often requires him to be working 12 hour shifts for days in a row. My plan to get through this day was to plan ahead and use my time well. We got to mid-day and I thought I was doing great -We had been to playgroup and had our lunch, were on time to nursery and I cleaned the house during naptime. I felt like I needed a pat on the shoulder; I was doing really well. Suddenly a toilet emergency forced me to leave one child to help the other. From upstairs I hear a crash and rush downstairs to find my daughter has undone her safety belt on her high chair, is standing up, has emptied her plate of food on the floor and was reaching for the jug of water. I rushed to stop her but was too late, water and jug fell on my nice clean floor. I’m rushing trying to clean up and stop her jumping in it at the same time when my son shouts from upstairs that he needs me. Upon arriving upstairs I realise I now have another mess to clean up.

This is my life as a mum trying to spin so many different plates: sometimes it works and sometimes it comes crashing down. It has taught me a lot about God’s relationship with us; how he continues to love me no matter how many times I fall over; how many mistakes I make; how he uses every situation to show me His way if I will let him.

I have realised in my bid to cope as a mum, a wife, in my job and in my community I tend to like to make a plan and everything run to it. Sometimes it works great but more often than not it doesn’t and I realise my plan allows very little room for God to act. It Is only when things start to go wrong (which happens a lot) do I start turning to him more and I’m amazed that when I let him more into the everyday bits of my life, there is so much more grace and so much more peace. I find taking five minutes time at various points in the day can be so life giving and after that I am able to accomplish much more than if I went without it. The days when I feel like the worst mother in the world are the days when my prayer time is vital. I’m not great at doing it and get easily distracted but I want to keep trying because I know I can be a very different mum if I am being filled by God and his Holy Spirit."